ass crack mind of mine..

Our story goes.. escalated into something more. clearly we enjoyed each others company,considered each other's presence as sunshine through a gloomy day..

At first we knew its strictly platonic,as both of us was not into commitments and complications at that moment. But then, every minute and every second that we're together , the platonic part gets blurry.

Me, as a girl who's afraid of people entering into her life and would ruin it all of a sudden.

I have dealt with this situation before and i call it "Hell". You had let someone to have a say in every aspect of your life, then suddenly without something just left you. Composing oneself is harder than dealing with any work issues and pressures.

I've told myself that i wont go have this thing again with anyone. I can play but I wont be attached. But then one day something "CHANGED".

I have let you in, inch by inch, slowly by slowly. But just like what I've feared of. Complications came. I know I'm difficult to deal with, I'm different. I want others to accept me for who I really am or what I've become.

He accepted me the way I am and want something more. He even want to break into my issues without so much questions asked. 

I'm confused. I know not all things need a lot of thinking and not to evaluate every bits of it.

As of now i'm sure i don't want him to go. But I don't know if i can give more. 

I'm willing to try harder and work out the differences. Let's see..

On The Other Side

I have been low for the past few years. A girl with not much but work going on with her life. Life for her is like a static radio station that only old people will have the guts to listen to. Everyday seems to be an ordinary day, until the day she stumbles to a post that enthralls her just like a toddler eyeing an expensive toy. It touched me in such a way that i cant explain. Its like a song on a repeat mode.

Days had passed and still thinking if i should give credit to the poster. And yes I did, my mind and my hand brought me in creating a new account just to reply to the poster. I don't know anything about this particular poster other than what he portrays in his post.

Even though i'm like a girl going for something with nothing but a new mail account, I still go for it. Replied his post telling how did it intrigued me. Luckily and fast enough the poster acknowledge the credits. And then it started.

Days and Week had passed, we're still somehow in constant conversation, dissecting each others personality, little by little.

Sudden turn, we decided to meet each other. The feeling was like you're going in a prom , excited to meet your partner, whom you don't even know because its gonna be by height selection. Simply as me, i went to the meeting place, nearer and nearer to meeting him the more i feel like i want to shit out of nervousness.

Unexpectedly, i have met him on the other side of the road with the little rain pouring. ahuh! our very first meeting point. I said hey and you said hi! . I didn't quite pictured that he is different from the way i used to imagine, don't get me wrong, but still in a good way. 

Had a good and fun day with him, never failing to listen to every single word that i say. From that day, i know he is far from what i should be seeking. But no regrets meeting him because I know " HE IS WHAT HE IS", like "ME being ME"....